I’m so lazy to update but there’s been things going on.

My dad is back.
Let me repeat, my dad is BACK.
I hope it’s now stuck in your head that my dad is back for good.

No more going out with friends.
No more hanging out at mamaks.
Practically no more freedom.

Had the most wonderful dream yesterday
where he found out I actually have guy friends
and he was fine with it.
In fact he was so nice he had my back
when I argued with this other guy.
All these was a dream lahhh of course.

The best thing about having him back home is
there’s always food on the table.
Can never starve or even feel hungry when he’s home.
He’d be sure to have food on the table no matter what time it is.
Wait, that’s not good.
I’m suppose to be dieting, right.

The second night he got back, we had our family dinner at TGI Friday’s.
I hate feeling the pressure of bringing him somewhere to eat because
he ALWAYS have something to complain about.
The worst nightmare would be expensive and bad tasting food.
TGI Friday’s was good enough for him, thank muffuckingsoul.
He loved his drink, he was talking about it to mom this morning again.
Doubt he liked the food, well no one asked him to order grilled salmon when Friday’s is famed for their steaks.

I wanted to go Paddington House Of Pancakes but he said far.

Yesterday I was told of something really fucked up at night
and it got me so emo I wanted to punch the walls again.
I didn’t because I found something that made me laugh hard.
Someone actually copied my old Friendster profile.
Not that I care, I mean hey she must really think great of me to actually copy the words.

She’s a friend of a friend and she’s the girlfriend of a friend.
Here’s her profile.
Read her “About Me“.
Well you can’t unless you’re her friend.
So I decided to copy & paste it here.
I bolded those I think know she copied,
but no, I seriously don’t like pink.
I had that on because I think my old friendster layout was pink or something.

I m SONIA.
I m 6teen.
I seriously like pink.
I dress to kill.
I L.O.V.E. lollypops.
I rather not know you if you annoy me too much.
I L.O.V.E. body art.
I have coloured hair.
I L.O.V.E. NW(mag).
I think I’m the most random person you can meet or know.
I L.O.V.E. dancing.
I go parties to dance, not drink or sit around.
I have a belly piercing.
I enjoy looking at beautiful street art & stickers.
I am a graffity maniac.
I L.O.V.E. jammin ma guitar.
I only love to chill wit ma frens.
I m too crazy to be true.
I m crazy bout FASHION.
I L.O.V.E. doin wat i do best….. SHOPPING!!!
I L.O.V.E. him.
I L.O.V.E. the fact that you guys took time to read this.

By the way, I’ve got a new number now.
The old one’s not in use anymore so ask me if you wanna know the new one.
The sudden change because I wanna give the old number
back to Chuon Yee.
He bought it for me back then when we got back together
so it’s only fair for him to give this particular number
to his current girlfriend, if he has one. It’s a pair.

I love the new number. Has alot of 6ixes..
Also got a combination of my birth date.
Wheeeeeee.

My lips are dying for another taste of Chocolate Chip Milkshake.
I want need to go Friday’s soon.

That my chin is hurting whenever I press on it.
I’m not sure if this is because of the accident last night,
but kanineh it hurts like bitch.
Tiu niama punya dashboard. (i am not going to curse the driver)

I didn’t sleep at all because I was afraid I might not be able to wake up on time to go One Utama with Amy.
That girl’s just only doing her Raya Shopping
when she know that there’s alot of sales everywhere for the festive season.

My wardrobe is so empty nowadays after I cleaned out all those clothes that I am never gonna wear again.
The main plan was to sell off the old things
and get money to buy new ones,
but since people don’t want my stuffs I’m considering to donate them to charity.

To me, it’s like I’m wearing the same stuff again and again and it’s annoying and embarrassing.

Dear readers,
your truly, me got into an accident for the first time ever.

Nothing serious, and definitely didn’t almost die.
Just hit my head on the dashboard.
Not saying that it was fun cause d’oh it was not,
but it happened so fast I find it amazing.
It was like watching tv.

The car couldn’t brake on time so we crashed into the opposite car.
Not front to front, was just the right headlight
making it the left for the other car.
So since the driver of the car I was in, is underage,
he’s going to get all the blaming.
Technically, it is his fault.
He was going at about 80 - 100 kph at a housing area.

Cannot tell mom because she’d definitely blow
and won’t allow me to go out at all anymore.

Before I forget,

HAPPY DEEPAVALI TO ALL MY INDIAN FRIENDS.

Just visited Dragon Red’s website and noticed the changes already.
I don’t think I’m the right person to say it but since Slyde
announced it in Laundry yesterday night
so I guess I have the green light to blog about it right?

Natelie left the band already.
So her place yesterday was played by Melinda from Tempered Mental.
I was really shocked when Adam told us.
Was like all of the sudden.
I’m pretty sure she has her own reasons.

So now DR’s looking for female bassists,
anyone who’s up to it can contact them.

I’ve just got home like an hour and 30 minutes ago.
My body stinks of cigarette smell
and I still haven’t drag my ass to shower yet.

Laundry was pretty obvious but Amy and I had a hard time recognising
since they don’t have a signboard with the name on it,
except for a small word at a corner written “Italiannies” or something.
The place was smaller than I expected but it was comfy.
The stage was small but the sound system was good.
I love the graphics on the wall.

We got to order alcohol although we aren’t suppose to.
I had the most disgusting Absolut flavour mixed with soda.
It was my first time ordering so shut up.
Amy had Heineken, which tasted equally bad.
I seriously cannot drink.

Adam introduced his friend to us called Justin.
I hope I spelled it right.
He was really nice and entertained Amy and I.
Got us seats when Dragon Red started their set.

Seven was the first to perform their set.
They were not bad although I didn’t pay much attention.
Was trying my best to finish up the drink I so stupidly ordered.
I remember their vocalist rocks a afro hairstyle.

Edge of Fire was the second to go.
They performed two sets.
A normal and another acoustic, I guess.
Amil played bass for them.

Dragon Red came up after them.
They also did two sets,
a softer than normal set and their normal set.
They performed a total of six songs if I’m not wrong.
They covered two songs, one was Crossfade’s Cold
and the other I forgot.

I rushed and left so didn’t say goodbye to Adam & Slyde
while they were at their last track.
Did told Justin to pass my words though.
Grabbed some burgers from Burger King before leaving PJ.

I took lotsa blur pictures, will post them up as soon as I’m free.
Right now I’m not.

I’m am honestly getting fatter each and everyday.
My tummy is looking so flabby.
Can’t even see my hip bones anymore.
There goes my figure, kanineh.

Guess what?

I’m going to Laundry to see Dragon Red perform tonight.
Yes, I found myself a transport to and back.
After all the hustling, Nigel told me he can’t go, pffft.
Amy might be going.
Michelle most prolly can’t and Tee Liang won’t be if Michy doesn’t.
Bugggerrrr. Like everybody can’t go.

Oh and I have another dilemma.
I’m offered a job to work part time at Genting by my aunty.
Not a hooker lah, damn it.
The problem is I really want to work there
but I have the already paid for extra account tuition starting in November and also yoga, and not forgetting the Star Prom performance on the 8th of December.
Surely we need practise and all.

The job starts next month until December.
Two cold and lovely months in Genting,
I’m confirm going to be as fair as snow.
Plus. I would love to earn the extra cash,
but then I’ve got no laptop so I can’t online and blog as often as I’d like even if it’s after work and who am I to hang out with when I’m having lunch, dinner, or whatever?

Gahhhh, so now how to sort and decide.

I want people to buy me flowers
or rather send me flowers as a surprise
and the funny thing is I don’t even like flowers.
I don’t understand why people say roses smell good.
They all smell the same to me.

buttttttttttt I don’t care, I want.
Yet people I know thinks flowers are lame.
Fineeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I went to school yesterday without sleep, thinking that Amelia was going to show up so if I didn’t she’d kill me. She didn’t even go.
Even after I call her at 6.30am to make sure I woke her up.

Dragon Red & Edge of Fire are performing in Laundry this Thursday and I’m still having transport problem.
Adam said he’s able to fetch me back but he’s most prolly leaving late.
Nigel said he’ll contact me if he can manage to find transport.
I’m way too ashame to ask Kenny to fetch,
although I’m sure he’s 100% for it.
Bands and alcohol. His love.

I don’t like the fact that I’m not talking as normally as I used to, to this certain person.
We used to be so close, it’s so weird to not talk or even say hi.
Furthermore we always had plans together for the holidays or something.
I miss you.

Have a boring Wednesday, people !
Wednesday are always boring.

I’m on the phone now listening to the person on the other line talk to another person on another line. Funny shit.

Urban Night was more like Tamil Night,
and I’m not being racists, geddamnit.

The DJ sucked, he was not doing his job properly.
The food had only 4 choices,
but who’s to complain when the ticket is only RM 15?

The performances was terrible but S.O.N’s was good.
Very much improved from their old routine.
I didn’t even bother to stay for the beatboxers. I went over to Jusco instead.
The dance floor started at 10.30pm when most of us are going back at 11pm, we did stay until midnight though.
The music played was so damn screwed up.
That idiot DJ was just sitting there telling us through the mic that his friends are requesting for tamil songs so he’s going to play the tamil song first, and he did so throughout the freaking time.
There were only like 2 - 4 songs anybody and I could have dance to.

Basically the whole thing sucked very much, but I still have fun.
I saw Amy dance, I saw Michy dance, I danced with Jany.
Have fun bitching about alot of girls. Have fun competing (ahaks, right michy?).

So enough of negative feedbacks before I break the organisers’ fragile heart.
They did, at least chose me as one of the Best Style or was it Best Dressed girl of the night.
That was another stupid moment, it was more like Best Dancer,
nothing to do with clothing / fashion or whatsoever.
I basically shook my ass on stage and won. LOL.

Matthew had the nerves to ask “Why didn’t you dance properly on stage just now?”.
Poor guy, got turn down by this hot looking girl when he asked for her number.

I experienced with colour balance and selective colours
so pardon the differences.
I know it’s really weird to look at, but I spend two nights at it okay.
Appreciate.

Amy & I printed out some of the pictures so that we can keep in our wallets.
We had so much fun sitting at the photo shop,
touching the screen of the thingy.
She was like a kid in a candy store.

I was so pissed with my wardrobe cause I couldn’t find anything
I want to wear so I just put on a bloody tshirt and
wore back the same skirt short I wore on Urban Night and went.

Tonight’s party night.
I’m pretty sure the girls are getting excited and getting ready right now.
Vivien and Janus is planning to sneak whiskey in to
spike our drinks since the organisers are not having alcohol anymore.
Gotta wait for Tommy to come back from school to go together.
I wanted to go early so that I can lurk around Jusco.

It was raining just now and drizzling now,
warning of incoming gloominess?
Hopefully today I’d be able to enjoy myself to the fullest.

For the past two days, I’ve been playing Freecell
like and addict. It’s good stuff lahhh.
Works your brain and it’s not easy.
Someone challenged me to it, so now I’m proving I can win.

and I did, 10 times in two days.

and these are the proofs.

I got bored the other day and found
some old photos I took with Ee Von in class.

I look damn pathetic and fugly.

Okay, I’m off to wax my leg now.
LOL.

AWESOME PEOPLE I WANT TO MEET
: Suppose
: To
: Have
: Ten
: Person
: Here
: But
: Cannot
: Think
: Lahhhhh.

THINGS I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT
: The internet
: My own space
: My voice
: Music
: Dancing
: Friends
: My smelly bolster
: Variations of bags
: Colourful / Creative designs on papers/walls/etc
: Speed.

I WISH I COULD
: Be alone now.
: Shut them out.
: Have my own private space.
: Tell them to leave me alone and that they’re annoying as hell.
: Say no to invitations.
: Tell Soh to drive slow. (i almost die. niama)

SONGS THAT I THINK ARE AWESOME
: Justin Timberlake - My Love.
: Fergie - Finally.
: Avant - Happy.
: Ashley Parker Angel - Picture Perfect.
: Ashley Parker Angel - Soundtrack To Your Life.
: Scissor Sisters - Laura.
: Hinder - Homecoming Queen.
: Evanescence - Cloud Nine.
: Wang Lee Hom - Kiss Goodbye.
: Wakefield - Unsweet 16.

I WANT
: Sony T30 Camera.
: IPod Nano 4GB
: To eat bah kut teh, cendol & ice cream right now.
: Healthier looking hair.
: To learn how to drive. (BR ! KW ! LT !)
: To feel what’s it like to be on a 180mph moving bike.

HOW I SEE MYSELF IN TEN YEARS
: Definitely living in my own place, drive my own car, paying my own bills.
: Not married, yet.
: Tired of the clubbing / night life. LOL.

RANDOM FACTS
: I am in love with more than 2 persons now
: Thinks that lightnings are beautiful at night but afraid to look at them.
: Cannot sing. (okay lah, not so random)
: Dreamt of becoming a singer beforeeee.
: Been sleeping way too much nowadays.
: Painted my nails orange.
: Own not enough bags.
: Hairy. Buhhh.
: One of my Before 30 Have Tos is to run on high heel.
: Thinks homosexuals are very nice people.

PEOPLE I TAG
: You
: Free ?
: You
: Do !

Just because of the color of one’s skin, my country refuses to progress.
Malays try to run the country in a fashion that benefits only the Malays.
Chinese and Indians run a majority of the large businesses,
discreetly pushing on the Malays due to the manner in which the government works.

All this hatred towards each other creates a rift in the progression of a state
that is truly able to become the greatest coutry in the world.
We have the resources; our supply of palm oil and exports of high grade petrol.
We have the man power. We have the education.
So why the fuck can’t we better ourselves?

I’ll tell you why:

Because my government, run by old Melayu megalomaniacs,
continues to throw the momentum of progression back.
Two things circulate their minds; money and power.
They fuck up the economy by selling unrefined petrol to other companies,
just for us to buy it back in a refined form for a higher price!
Why not refine it ourselves?! Why not make a profit for ourselves?!

Like bestfriends, power accompanies the greed of money!
The government hides behind the face of religion to keep the people frozen!
If a Malay is caught in a relationship with a Chinese,
the government intervines and forces a marriage
where the Chinese is FORCED to become muslim.
Why? Because my government is sick.
Sick, old and stupid.

My government gives exclusive rights to Malays, like myself, that we don’t need!
Education is prioritized towards the Malays.
Scholarships are mostly reserved for Malays.
Subjects are made to help the Malays.

Why do Chinese and Indians have to learn the history of Islamic religion?!
If they are made to learn the history of Islam, then why not make us learn the history of Buddhism and Hinduism?
Equality is the key, you snot nosed bastards!

If our people knows information on each culture and each race,
then we will truly understand each other! If we knew each other then we will not bow to the degrading act of racism!

Why does the students of a school need to speak Malay and ONLY MALAY?!
Why do they not offer Hindi and Chinese?!
This lack of language awareness makes the people break apart and make their own schools.

Chinese attend chinese schools, Indian attend their own.
This rift and congregation of separate races does not help the problem.

It is sad.
The proudness and stubborness of my own race
is pushing down the progression of my people.

Due to the fact that my government, run by mostly Malays,
is focusing on pushing the Malayu heritage up and offering exclusive rights,
my people are creating race wars between each other.
Chinese and Indians have to work harder to just get by,
while Malays ride on the backs of my government.

While Malays are hiding behind the government,
the Chinese and Indians are making more money.
Then jelousy subsides. Malays begin to complain that they are poor,
making the Chinese and Indians swing back,
saying that we ride on the backs of the government.
This leads to stereotyping!

Because of this hatred, Malays are classified as lazy,
while the Chinese ruthless, and the Indian money hungry snakes.
All these names are used by adults, which rub on their children, echoing the racism.

What truly makes me heartsick is that the people who shape society hold this grudge.
Government officials, policemen, and parents.
They all protect and create the country, but due to their racistic mentality,
my country is formed into a morbid and angry nation of self hatred.

The most saddening story I heard is from my friend,
who had a conversation with her old teacher.
She was talking about one of her Malay student having an Indian boyfriend.
However, the tone of her conversation was in disgust.
She constantly cringed her face at the fact of their love,
and she would state that they were disgusting.
How can a woman of such high distinction,
who educates the children of all three races, have such a dimwitted mind!
HOW CAN SUCH A PERSON EDUCATE OUR NEXT GENERATION!

The only solution to this is to create equality!
Make students learn all the languages:
Malay, Hindi, Chinese and English!
With this, the potential of our people making businesses in foreign countries increases,
as the language barrier breaks.

Make them understand each culture’s history and beliefs!
If we know our own people like brothers and sisters,
there shouldn’t be a reason to fight!
Give them the freedom of exploring each race!

And finally, DO NOT GIVE EXCLUSIVE RIGHTS!
This only creates barriers and hatred against one another.

What’s worst is that my government tries to hide this problem
with the slogan “Malaysia. Truly Asia “.
The topic of racism is so untouched upon in my country,
that the existence of anti-racism campaigns are put to the minimal!

Please! Wake up, the people of Malaysia!
See your true potential! Do not digress to the infamy of racism! Fight to better yourselves!

This may just be a small call of one small teenage citizen of Malaysia, hoping for a better future.
But this is a call from the heart. This is a call from the soul.
I cry for the future of my country, and I cry for my next generation.
I cry because my country breathes so salty.

Peace out,
Me.

He wrote it so perfectly, voicing out almost everything that’s true.
Plus, he’s malay & only 18 years old.

You have to give him credits for this.

Funny right, at how fast things change?
Went through the “The Boyfriend” category and we had so much together, but why are there so many fucking problems that I can’t handle.

I don’t know man, the feelings so confuse, the situation’s complicated and I am not interested in stressing myself up until I’m ready.

So in the mean time, I’m advising him to get on with his work and life first,
but no, he just can’t do that. He just had to make it worse.

It’s driving me crazy.

After a refreshing cold shower in the middle of the might,
I’m ready to spill everything to all of you,
but please don’t come running with a five foot long paper of questions.

I’m only doing this once and last.

I’ve split up with Sanjay (sundae).
Taken time off to figure out things, and please don’t come and tell me I’m being stupid because bitch, you don’t know shits.
None of ya’ll do except for a certain two or three person.

No, I don’t know if we’ll ever be together again.
All I know now is that I happy and I don’t know what’s going to happen.

Selfish right?
I didn’t even think for his sake, was only thinking of mine.

Completely satisfied with every thing now.
I (finally) have money to shop / pierce (whee) my tongue.
I finally have time to hang out with my friends for real.
I don’t need to feel bad whenever I’m out without him.
I just feel geddamn right, right now.

You won’t get it at all. Don’t try.

This weekend is packed with plans.
Friday = Urban Night Party at night.
Saturday = Karaoke session at KTV, KP around 1pm
and maybe a movie after that.

Something will most prolly come up on Sunday without any planning.

Pictures will definitely be taken and hopefully the batteries last.
The karaoke session is because of Wai Lun’s birthday.
I’m going with Amy and maybe even Michy if she can make it.
I can’t sing, and absolutely won’t to any chinese oldies / songs.
We’ve plan to leave after 30 minutes or earlier if we can’t take it
and lurk around KP and laugh loud loud at any ahlians / ahbengs.

Speaking of Michy, that poor girl’s down with a bad flu
and just recovered from a sudden fever.

No. I’m not going to talk about school because I don’t plan on going
this week although I know I should.
I’m just too afraid to face Pn.Maizurah (my history teacher).

Oh by the wayyy, I almost died on Sunday.
Won’t give you the details in letters because
I can’t type the incident to make it as excited as it really was.
Takkan nak rosakkan mood cerita kan?

p/s : just in case you didn’t notice,
my previous two posts started with “Not” unexpectedly, so I decided why not start this entry with another not as the last not of the “Not” series.

lame nyerrrrr.